Doctor Jokes
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Doctor Jokes - Are you looking for funny jokes and gags for an occasion - then look no further than here on the doctor joke and gags page.
Believe it or not doctors laugh too and why wouldn’t they – after all they are only human too and on top of that they are people that have more knowledge on humans than any other person – and I am pretty sure that any medical person will tell you that the best remedy for a person is to smile and laugh before frowning. Well fret not and frown no more with this list of hand picked list of jokes and gags.
Jokes will most certainly fill the air with laughter – humorous and funny gags even more so
Joke 1
"Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade."
"Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet?"
"Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."
Joke 2
The surgeon told his patient that woke up after having been operated: "I'm afraid we're going to have to operate you again. Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves inside you." "Well, if it's just because of them, I'd rather pay for them if you just leave me alone."
Joke 3
"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!"
"Do you drink a lot?"
"Not really - I spill most of it!"
Joke 4
Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?"
"Yes, of course..."
"Great! I never could before!"
Joke 5
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast.
"You aren't so good in bed either!" he shouted and stormed off to work.
By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone.
"What took you so long to answer?"
"I was in bed."
"What were you doing in bed this late?"
"Getting a second opinion."
Funny Joke 6
A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"
Joke 7
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! That’s terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.
Funny joke 8
A man goes to his doctor for a complete check up. He hasn't been feeling well and wants to find out if he's ill. After the check up the doctor comes out with the results of the examination.
"I'm afraid I have some bad news. You're dying and you don't have much time," the doctor says.
"Oh no, that's terrible. How long have I got?" the man asks.
"10..." says the doctor.
"10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? What?!" he asks desperately.
"10...9...8...7..."
Try these jokes out on a few friends and I am sure you will have them doubled over with laughter. |
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