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Paddy & Mick Jokes
Gags and Jokes - We all love a good life and what better way than to start the ball rolling with a few Paddy and Mick jokes that never fail to have you doubled over in the stitches.
1 Paddy & Mick were strolling along one day, when they came across a deserted car. They both jumped in, and started checking if everything was in working order. Paddy beeped the horn, "yes that works ok" he says. Then he flicks on his indicator and calls to "Mick, stick you head outta the window and see if it's working"...to which he replied "it is...it isn't...it is...it isn't..."
Irish jokes are commonly told among friends and family and they are the highlight of many stand up comediennes act.
2 Paddy and Mick were working on a building site, Paddy says to Mick "I cant be bothered working all day I just want to go home" so he climbs to the top of the building site and hangs upside down on a steel girder so then the boss comes out and shout "what the hell do you think your doing" Paddy says "pretending to be a light bulb" so the boss says "go home your being stupid" so he climbs down and starts walking out - so Mick decides to follow and says "Im going home too" but just as he was putting his coat on to leave the boss shouts "and were do you think your going" Mick says home because Im not working in the dark"
Jokes and gags are a sure way of filling the air with laughter. If you are going to be hosting a celebration party like a birthday, anniversary or wedding etc then consider having a joke book close at hand
3 Paddy and Mick were nearing a pub which had been destroyed by an IRA bomb
only minutes before. As they passed, a head rolled out of the smouldering ruins
and across the pavement before them. Paddy stooped, picked it up and held it
for Mick to see.
"Shure now Mick, isn't this Sean Murphy?"
"No, Paddy, no, it couldn't be. It's an amazing' resemblance, but Murphy was
a lot taller than that."
4 Paddy and Mick go into the woods on a hunting trip which entailed camping out. During the night paddy wakes up and spots something in the distance - he then wakes Mick and says - Look Mick - when Mick glances over - a mans head is hanging out of a crocodiles mouth - then paddy screams out – thinks he’s gods gift because he has a lacoste sleeping bag.
Irish jokes are only said in jest on this site.
5 Paddy died in a fire and was burnt pretty badly and the morgue needed someone to identify the body. So his two best friends, Mick and Seamus were called upon.
Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Seamus said 'Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over’. Following orders the mortician rolled Paddy over and Seamus looked and said 'Nope, it ain't Paddy.'
The mortician thought it all rather strange and then called upon Mick to identify the body. Mick took one look at him and said, 'Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over'.
The mortician rolled him over and Mick looked down and said, 'No, it ain't Paddy'.
A baffled mortician asked, 'How can you tell?' Mick said, 'Well, Paddy had two assholes.'
‘what, he had two assholes?' said the mortician.
'Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went into town, people would say, 'Here comes Paddy with them two assholes.' |
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Paddy turns to Mick and says,
"do you have a college diploma?"
Mick, in turn says "no, but I know
where we can get a gag diploma!"
"Why on earth would we need that?"
"No idea, but let's get some fake high
school diplomas too!"
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